I hate it when you just randomly get hit with crippling embarrassment over something you did years ago and you’re writhing with your hands over your face trying to tell the memory to go away omg shut the fuck up
so my friends son is going through puberty earlier than his classmates and it was freaking him out a bit so she sat him down and explained how his body was going to change and that its supposed to happen and at the end she was like “are you confused about anything?” and hes like “just one thing”
and shes thinking “oh no hes going to ask me about sex i just know it”
and he says “i just dont understand modern art”
THIS KID HAS GOT HIS SHIT TOGETHER
if ur screwing up ur life cuz u are a perfectionist with major anxiety who procrastinates and spends way too much time on the internet clap ur hands
the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it
I tried that trick today where you chew gum while chopping onions so you don’t cry and it worked! Then my mom came home and I said, “Hey Mah I’m chopping onions and I’m not crying, know why?” And without even looking up from the mail she was opening, she said: “because you’re dead on the inside.”
do you ever see a photograph of someone really attractive from like the 1800s and you suddenly get pissed because they’ve been dead for like 200 years and you probably don’t have a chance with them
i have an idea for a website:
alright, you know how 7 people in the world are supposed to look like you or whatever
we make this website.
and people upload pictures of themselves and add characteristic tags or something (curly hair, brown eyes, etc) ((idk something like that))
and we UNITE YOU WITH YOUR TWINS
LETS DO IT IT WOULD BE FUN
PLEASE CAN THIS BE A THING
kill your double
Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.
Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.
Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.
Oh god i just sent my teacher an email without removing my signature and mY SIGNATURE IS THIS
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
IM SCARED WHAT DO I DO HELP
Works every time.. :)
DO NOT DO THIS DO NOT MICROWAVE METAL IT WILL BREAK YOUR MICROWAVE
omg just run the spoon under hot water like a normal person where in god’s name were you people raised
ICE CREAM TOO HARD? SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE.
lifehack: set your house on fire just do it just fucking do it burn it all down
Or you can do what I do and microwave the ice cream for like 10 seconds…
OR JUST FUCKING WAIT FOR IT TO MELT A LITTLE
this is the worst fuck up in the history of fuck ups and my aunt drove her van into a house because a leaf hit her windshield
Appreciating someone’s beauty doesn’t necessarily mean that you are sexually or romantically attracted to them.
does anyone have like a default obsession
like your mind switches through these current obsessions and once the hype kind of dies down, there’s always this one fandom that it switches back to when there’s nothing else new and it’s like always there without fail